How far should I scale back my expectations when I fail? What if I fail every time for the rest of my life?

Kimberly O.
Well, as someone who fell while playing Pokemon Go and chipped her tooth, I can speak from experience. I was so demoralized after the fall that I didn't want to go out and walk, let alone play the game. But eventually I found the inspiration to play again after an update to the game. But this time, I changed my strategy so that I wouldn't have to worry about falling. I decided to play while traveling with other people and take advantage of my room mate's errand runs to get some walking in.

Falling is always a part of life, but as long as you get up more often than you fall down, that's ok.

Rose O.
I fail every time, pretty much… I guess we'll keep failing together for the rest of our lives? I'm not sure what else there is to do 😕
Julius O.
Accepting that failure is ok has been so important to my progress. I used to beat myself up about failure, and that made it harder to get back on the wagon again. Now, when I realize that I'm off track (and sometimes I don't notice for weeks) I take some time to check in with myself: I credit myself with recognizing that I need to realign myself with my goals. I ask myself, why did I fail? What was I prioritizing instead of that goal? If it was another goal, then I congratulate myself, but I also recognize that it is time to realign my priorities.
This past week I was so busy at work and I have been working really hard on my exercise goal that my money management, diet and cleaning goals were completely neglected. I assessed where I was and how I got there, but I didn't place a negative value judgement on myself. I told myself that I needed a reset on Monday, and I got so much done today! When you allow yourself opportunities to fail, then you notice it and reset when you're able, you'll find that your baseline keeps rising. Yeah, I didn't clean at all last week, but it only took one day to get back to a place that is wayyy better than before I started working on that goal. Progress is not a straight line!
Jimmy Z.
A failure is nothing more than a lesson. A chance for growth. How far to scale back depends on the answer to the following:
1- Why do I deem this a failure?
2 – By how much did I fail?
3 – Being kind but firm, how much do I know I can manage?

Once you've reflected, reassess and pick a level that's enough of a challenge to give a sense of achievement without being overwhelming.

Hopefully that makes sense?

Heinz Z.
I would suggest starting with small habits and in just one area of your life. Just one new habit for a couple of weeks, something that takes just a little time to complete. Gradually you can increase the length of the habit and/or add new habits. There is no point in thinking that you will fail forever, because we are never the same for a long time! You can succeed!
Jojo E.
don't scale back. try again. fail again. fail better. the highest you aim, the more impressive your failures will be. asim for ther moon and if you miss, ay lest you have hit the stars.
Amir U.
Set your big goal but enjoy the small success that you achieve along the way. Don't compare yourself to others. 😉 That's what makes you think you're gonna fail for the rest of your life. Avoid negative people. They'll make you feel horrible about yourself while all they want is for you to fall. Do small, live big.
Emily W.
its taken me a long time to get here but i now try to see that when i miss my mark of what i had hoped to accomplish with something, to see it as information about my limits and boundaries instead o f as something to beat myself up about.
Olivia Z.
I don’t think I should scale back expectations too far – I prefer to dream big and keep trying because that’s motivating. However there will be moments I will have to say to myself, ‘Ok let’s go back to basics’ and do something so achievable just to build up momentum and develop further into it. But I’ve never been one to lower standards to the point of easy achievability simply because that makes another issue arise of dissatisfaction. Keep dreaming and working for it for the rest of your life – technically we can’t achieve absolutely everything in this world all the time, but we can adjust and prioritise what we want to do with it and what our circumstances are along each step and how to put ourselves in a better position for our own definitions of success.
Sudha I.
Don't think of expectations and whether you will achieve them or not. Divert your focus to thoughts like what should you do to achieve what you want? What small steps you want to take everyday so that you will become an achiever? Replace your negetive thoughts with positive ones.
Em F.
Always start by doing something you know you can already do. Otherwise if you fail again you'll be even more disheartened. And it's not the destination but the journey – who cares if you succeed at this in the end? The important thing is that you tried more often than you didn't.
Emma U.
Personally I think scaling back by 50% would make the task in question more achievable when you next try it. This will in turn boost your confidence and faith in what you are doing ready to up your expectations for the next try. Perhaps to 75% of your original expectations. Achieve that and then go for the full 100%!! Good luck!!
Salina F.
Every time you fail ,you are learning something ( you learn that the thing you did or the way to did it wasn’t effective)and you are getting experience
So with time you’re getting new ways to think about and it will help you to get out of your comfort zone
Leidemere Q.
Change your mindset and look for the learning in the failure. As long as you are learning the failure has added value to your life. It doesn't matter how many times you fall. It matters how many times you get up.
Ru U.
I like to try to reframe failure by thinking that it’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all! Lots of people think that by not trying they’re avoiding failure…but what if they’re actually avoiding success? What if they ARE actually failing by not trying because they’re missing out on the results they would have got from trying, even if they hadn’t quite achieved their original goal? I don’t think it’s possible that you’ll fail every time for the rest of your life (based on probability alone)…but even if you ‘fail’ to achieve exactly what you set out to do every single time, I guarantee you that you will make progress and have more to show for it than if you never tried. And that, in itself, is the opposite of failure!:)
Kassidy N.
When I fail, I try to think about why I did, what actions I took that didn’t work. Once I take the time to break down the failure, it’s easier to figure out what I need to change and how. I don’t think it’s possible to fail every time because once I take the step I explained before, there will always be improvement. It’s just a matter of recognizing it.
Andreas E.
If you have a goal you should not scale back the expectations related to this goal, you can realize that maybe you need more time to fulfill. But not low the expectations. If you try, and keep going, eventually you will succeed.