I try to think about the absolute very last time I will ever get to do something – look into a loved one's eyes, the smell of them on clothes, take my dog for a walk, look at a nice view that I maybe pass by every day. When I realise that there will only be a finite number of times I get to do anything in life, it's easier to cherish each time I get to do it. It helps me be thankful for even very little things in life, even on days I feel like I dont have much to be thankful for.
I am always grateful, just not happy & very upset, sad, unhappy, uncomfortable, miserable, . I feel so just yuck, I hate my life right now here, & I have no REAL friends I can be my whole self around without feeling horrible minute after minute all throughout the day. I seriously need to go out of here for a while, like a few weeks or a month. Just somewhere I am free to be me , without the hurt of others & situations. But I am not going to keep on proving I'm grateful. Because I am grateful for so much!!!