I don’t answer if I don’t have the emotional fortitude to answer.
I let it go to voicemail. If it’s that important then they will immediately call again. If it is not urgent, but they desire a response then they will leave a message.
I normally take a deep breathe before answering and smile – it makes your voice relax.
If it’s from someone or something that’s is optional- I let it ring out. If it’s urgent they will call again and I answer but generally you gain an extra day. Putting off answering the phone makes it harder the longer you put it off. Sometimes it’s better to just answer the phone!
If it’s from someone that I would rather not talk to, or feel the urge to avoid, I would text them back and say something like: “I am tending to my self-care right now. And feel like it would be better for us to talk when I feel more centered. If you could honor that by sending me an email or a letter instead, I would greatly appreciate it.”
Then, I will try to examine why I feel the urge to avoid this person. And get myself sorted out first.
Also, it can also help reduce tensions when people are given the opportunity to write down their thoughts. So the invitation of an email exchange is helpful in that regard.
Above all, I always aim for 100% honesty. And try to do so in a way that honors the others person’s humanity and feelings.
- What’s your best (fastest) way of getting out of your own head?
- How do I disconnect?
- When do you start the Disconnect habit before you go to bed? 10 min, 1 hour…?
- How and what do you feel during the time between disconnecting and going to bed?
- I love to play music before sleeping and usually is on my cellphone. What would you suggest to do instead?
- Do you disconnected from everything? What if somebody texts you?
- How can you be indifferent about all the things happening around the world and do not check the news daily?
- What time should I start winding down? I usually go to bed around 9 pm.
- Does disconnecting for the night help?
- How can I create a routine that doesn’t get boring willing time?