What type of phrasing is the most effective one when it comes to ordering the self? I generally use sentences like “do the dishes” and then I get mad at myself and don’t do the dishes because I was mean to my future self the day before.

Try to shift your phrasing from "doing"-centered language to "being"-centered language. Instead of simply "do the dishes", tell yourself something like "I am responsible, and responsible people do their dishes" or "I respect myself, and people who respect themselves do their dishes". This way, you are connecting the action you need to do in the moment with the type of personality you would like to cultivate for yourself. Another good way to frame this is to think of how much better you will feel once you have done the dishes.

Maybe try adding a positive spin by telling yourself the why and benefits of doing something. For example, instead of "do the dishes" switch it to "I'll do the dishes so that I feel good and relaxed afterwards."

How about some phrasing that allows you to partner with yourself, so instead of demanding to „do the dishes“ you could say „let‘s do the dishes now“ or „I chose to do the dishes now“ or „I am looking forward to all the clean dishes and a happy kitchen area“- maybe look for the language that is the most friendly and peaceful, remember words you would use to talk to a close friend/ someone you deeply care about

I like to tell myself how great it feels when I finish. I say, “finish cleaning the sink, it feels great when I see it finished.” “Carol, you are a finisher, do it well , in order, and quickly.”

I just write "dishes", and to me that doesn't sound mean because I wrote it myself. Maybe investigate what makes you feel mad

I try to not put to much pressure on myself, I just remind my self to do the things at the moment so I don't have to do it later.

What works with me is to be kind. To get pumped. To motivate. TO be positive. Okay Derek, let's do this. We got this. Stay focused. No distractions. I have three most problems with distractions. I procrastinate what I don't want to do've I need to align my emotions with my tasks. Also, if I don't know exactly what I want to do, it makes it harder. I need to have clear and specific vision.