I am lucky in having a caring mom. However, she often wants to control my life (I am married) and she angers me so much because I am a very independent person. How do you reconcile gratefulness and anger? (Cause I feel grateful, but I express anger – especially since she is very confrontational…)

Hello, yes you are very very lucky ! 🙂 maybe you could learn how to be more "assertive" as in not to be "passive" nor "aggressive" – watch some YouTube video on the topic , it will be very helpful. If you feel the conversation is heating up , ask to talk again in another time when you are both calmer. Try to understand her point..maybe she has a point or view that is in your benefit .. She's your mom, the one who will always be on your side and looking for your best since you were a child 🙂

Use the anger you feel to get into a zone of expressing yourself , tell your mum how you feel and then express your gratefulness through looking back on childhood memories with her after and during the conversation to show her your life with her help and without what you have also done

Grown men would never act this way , you can love and respect your mother and family , but there are boundaries and certain things that you can allow or not allow for yourself in your life … especially if your over 20 years of age you are considered an adult and should be able to make your own choices by now and be able to step up and say something , without fear of your mothers commands , this is your life and your decisi

Boundaries. Read about them in psychology and therapy and you will learn how important it is for your well being and your relationships that you determine on what terms you engage with others, how emotionally engaged you will be separately from physically etc as well, and be very realistic about what you can handle. You must care for yourself well if you want to support her and be your best grateful self to her.