Dear Fabulous Traveler,

As you imagined the life you would be truly grateful to repeat, you might have found a tiny yet powerful word creeping into your consciousness:

"But...".

That word is to be expected. It is exactly the word your mind has chosen time and again, loyally following the path it was trained to take. And as this snippet of an inspirational speech by speaker and author Les Brown illustrates, "But" has served a particular purpose:

'But' is a dream killer...a lot of things that we want to do, a lot of places we would like to go, a lot of things we would like to experience, and we just stop at 'But' and we build a case. In fact, I was reading something the other day that talked about 'but'. It says: “'But' is an argument for our limitations and when we argue for our limitations we get to keep them.”

See, 'but' will cause you to procrastinate. 'But' will cause you to hide out behind fear. 'But' will cause you to come up with all types of excuses that you can validate your inaction and not acting on your dream...

Even after reading that, maybe even before you finished it, 'But' was likely pushing itself forward in your mind. But... I have so many responsibilities to attend to. But... I don't have enough talent for.... But, I'm not the kind of person that...But...But....

When you argue for your limitations you get to keep them, Fabulous Traveler. They trap you in a mindset that doesn't allow you to fulfill your potential, and ensures that a life directed by purpose stays out of your reach.

Today, you're going to start putting those limitations on trial.

Getting Serious About Self-Talk

The reflections of those at their deathbeds are not to be taken lightly. After all, when that final curtain comes to call, we see our lives with intense clarity. And video game designer Jane McGonigal takes that clarity seriously. In her search to create a positive activity to help people nearing death, she asked them to share their most common anxieties and fears. What stood out most to her were their similar regrets, which included:

• I wish I'd taken more chances
• I wish I'd let myself be happier
• I wish I'd had the courage to express my true self

It's interesting that each of those three begins with: I wish I had. As in: the responsibility lies with me. So then the question becomes: Why didn't they? One of the biggest barriers to being who we truly want to be is negative, self-limiting thoughts and beliefs.

Initially, this negative self-talk can be hard to point out. It operates subtly, as a natural part of your mental environment that drifts in and out unnoticed. You may have started to pick up on it over the last couple of weeks, as you've reflected on the ways you curb your authenticity and neglect your passions. It might have become visible as you replayed your life in the Life on Repeat meditation. It would also be clear in whatever 'Buts' made an appearance as you read Les Brown's speech.

Once you notice the negative self-talk, you have to understand it. Each of your negative thoughts stems from somewhere. On a deeper level they act as a defense, protecting you from shame, embarrassment, or the disappointment of failure. But the truth is, this defense often creates the very disappointments you hope to avoid. It stops you from being all you can be, so in the end you will always feel like you've let yourself down. That’s a perfect recipe for regret. 

So you need a next step Fabulous Traveler, and when it comes to negative self-talk, it’s all about changing the conversation.

The Psychology of Strength

When the Forbes Coaches Council was interviewed about how to tackle negative thoughts, there was one central idea in their responses: You are in control. You might not be in control of much of what happens externally, but you are in control of how you interpret your experiences, how you define situations, and how you tackle problems. You are in control of how you anticipate, adapt, and respond to whatever life throws at you.

A recent study from Harvard’s McLean Hospital shows that when we shift our attention to more positive aspects of our self and experiences, we build our capacities and function better in life: Mentally, emotionally, and even physically.

If changing your words and drawing your attention from one place to another sounds too simple Fabulous Traveler, don't knock it just yet. Its effects are significant. By repeatedly practicing a new way of thinking, you are quite literally reshaping and retraining your brain.

You might not have realized it, but in the last couple of weeks, you've already begun that process. This week, you're going to do it with intention.

This Week's Plan

Your One-Time Action

You're going to do something right now to start tuning in to your negative self-talk.

• Open your notebook to a fresh page.
• Write down "But..." 5 times, each on a new line.
• Now fill in the 5 “But…” sentences with some of the most persistent excuses and negative thoughts that have come up while you've been on this journey. Take a moment. 
• Re-read this list and reflect on it. Are all these "Buts" true? Can you look at them differently? Reflect on this.

Your Goal

For the next 3 mornings, you'll do the Shape Your Mind Guide in the Sit and Think section. Mornings are the best time to gain control of your thoughts and master the rest of your day!

This will be added to your morning routine when you hit Accept below.

What We Are Doing

You're breaking down the barriers that have stood in the way of living your purpose, one step at a time. Changing the way you think and behave requires consistent practice. So next week you'll be taking what you're discovering even further, and building the unbreakable habits you need to keep your life on track. But for now, pay attention to your self-talk, and begin conquering those limiting beliefs.

Talk to you soon, Fabulous Traveler!

If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place--Lao Tzu