{"id":21120,"date":"2020-03-11T10:06:54","date_gmt":"2020-03-11T10:06:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thefabulous.co\/qa\/i-have-severe-depression-and-anxiety-i-am-trying-to-work-through-it-but-im-disheartened-that-im-not-fixed-or-sorted-or-the-old-me-again-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-and-biggest-critic-ho\/"},"modified":"2022-12-19T16:14:38","modified_gmt":"2022-12-19T16:14:38","slug":"i-have-severe-depression-and-anxiety-i-am-trying-to-work-through-it-but-im-disheartened-that-im-not-fixed-or-sorted-or-the-old-me-again-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-and-biggest-critic-ho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thefabulous.co\/qa\/i-have-severe-depression-and-anxiety-i-am-trying-to-work-through-it-but-im-disheartened-that-im-not-fixed-or-sorted-or-the-old-me-again-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-and-biggest-critic-ho\/","title":{"rendered":"I have severe depression and anxiety. I am trying to work through it but I&#8217;m disheartened that I&#8217;m not &#8216;fixed&#8217; or &#8216;sorted&#8217; or &#8216;the old me again&#8217;. I am my own worst enemy and biggest critic. How can I feel fabulous when some days I&#8217;m not sure I even want to live? How can I feel grateful when I feel so low?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Chris Z.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">Mm. Be grateful for the things *you have*: freedom, life, the ability to give love to any and all. Who you are is perfect, whole, and complete. I&#39;ve been there, keep going, it&#39;ll get better if you keep going. Life is a rollercoaster. You go up and down. Check out Daylio, I&#39;ve found it really helpful to look back over the past year years of my rollercoaster. All the best.<\/div>\n<\/div><div class=\"thefa-test2 thefa-entity-placement\" id=\"thefa-2055806034\"><div id=\"thefa-132021800\"><style>.thefa-test2 {margin-bottom: 24px;}<\/style>\r\n<div class=\"banner-content-position light-viol\">\r\n<div class=\"banner-text max400\">Habit building made easy<\/div>\r\n<a href=\"https:\/\/start.thefabulous.co\/onboarding\/fabulous-initial?utm_source=community-qa&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=afterfirstquestionoranswer-purple-achievegoals\" class=\"banner-cta red w-inline-block\">\r\n<div>Start now<\/div><\/a>\r\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Sheryl Q.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">It&#39;s very tough when you have to try and force yourself to do something even though you dont want to. I understand that but there&#39;s a saying that the world is only for the courageous and I agree with it. This world is tough and it&#39;s harsh but at the end of the day, you have to say enough is enough and get out there and make something of yourself.<br \/>\nYou are worth more then you know and you have so much to offer the world. Let your light shine dear. Dare to live, be strong and courageous and do not be afraid. I am a Christian and it&#39;s words like these from the Bible that give me life. Start with reading motivational verses.<br \/>\n I started small with little things like saying  &quot;I am grateful to be alive&quot; first thing when  I wake up. And after a couple of days you will mean it because the truth is your brain only does what u tell it to. So if you say to yourself that your are happy and kind, you will be. It may take a while but if u still to it you&#39;ll come through the other side a better version of yourself. Repeating positive affirmations from the Bible throughout my day has helped me immensely.  I hope it does the same for you<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Muna A.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">i got suspended from work last year, and i\u2019m still depressed and feel the need to revenge, i\u2019m trying my best to get over it .. but still can\u2019t even I&#39;m having a job now<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Andrea C.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">I think I could have written this myself about a year ago. I talked to a therapist and she helped me understand that my brain was essentially lying to me. It was telling me awful things. It took me a while to wrap my head around that idea &#8211; for instance I know 2+2&#x3D;4 so why wouldn\u2019t my brain tell<br \/>\nme other true things. I started medication and made adjustments and the critic STOPPED &#8211; it was incredible. Try to push yourself to do one thing more than you are comfortable with to break down the barriers and build self worth back up. Life is super crappy a lot, but focus on what your five senses are showing you to refocus when the critic starts talking. what things see, smell taste hear and feel can you be grateful for. I hope you can see a doctor and share your concerns. It\u2019s scary broach the subject and full of stressz I have done online counseling due to anxiety and it helped. Please remember that there is a lot of support and you have goodness to bring the world.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Chantal M.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">Start with baby steps<br \/>\nTell yourself in the exact moment you are safe, you are breathing, everything in that exact moment is good.<br \/>\nWriting down your thoughts help<br \/>\nFinding something to be grateful for &#8211; root over your head, clean water, food in your fridge, grateful you woke up this morning. Listening to a positive pod cast or reading a good book. I\u2019d recommend the 5 am club .<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Pierre N.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">The most helpful thing that helps me get through those tough moments you described is keeping in mind that I have a fabulous support system. I see a therapist weekly, I call my family and text my friends routinely, and I\u2019m learning how to reach out to loved ones when life gets tough.<br \/>\nHaving a routine is also beneficial for me, especially one rooted in compassion and gratitude. I\u2019ve started journaling every day on what I\u2019m most grateful for, and I integrate loving kindness into my contemplation practice! These are scientifically proven to re-wire your brain, and the self discipline acquired when doing this every day has strengthened my resolve.<br \/>\nGood luck!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Najee O.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">You can allow the feeling to be there without calling it good or bad. I notice for me what helps is finding something that I like about someone else and telling that person, and finding three things that I liked today and typing them in the grateful exercise of the fabulous act.  Another thing I notice help me is going on Keto where there is no sugar spike.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Jon F.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">Just starting where you are at is a step towards getting better. Be grateful that you can see this and that you want to change it! What helps me when I feel low is to connect with friends and share myself. Just by doing that it kinda lifts the veil and the fog starts dissipating. Trust that you can do it&#8230; You&#39;ve come so far, through your life highs and lows&#8230; And you will get through this as well. You can do it!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Jeva V.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">I&#39;ll be honest, it&#39;s very hard situation you are in right now, I know as I was there just three months before now. Unfortunately, there is no one solution that would work for everyone as we are all different persons with different backgrounds and lifes. But I only can promise you that you have to keep trying, every day little bit by little bit and praise yourself for it. Write down any tiny accomplishment you managed to make through the day, it could be anything (got out of bed, prepared yourself healthy breakfast, washed dishes). Start small and never blame yourself for anything you couldn&#39;t accomplish, you are in a very bad place right now, be patient with yourself as if you are injured and need to recover. The great help for me was changing from regular antidepressants to some that allow myself to sleep. I&#39;ve never realised how bad my sleep was before that, Talk to your doctor, search for a solution together. Don&#39;t isolate yourself, go out even for a tiny bit, even if you don&#39;t want to, and when you are out there, try focus on anything that is not how uncomfortable you are feeling being out, but on anything, sounds, smells, colours, voices. Write it down, or take a photo, or draw it. It will change your focus outwards and allow to experience something that is outside of your head for a change. It will be scary, but it is worth it. I promise. Wish you all the luck, the light is really there, just keep walking, this stupid tunnel is just too long, but you will make it!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Udo B.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">You can only feel good if you celebrate the small things<br \/>\nEach moment passed is a celebration  each event you\u2019ve got through a positive<br \/>\nCelebrate each in your own way and hold on to these moments to keep you going.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Me Z.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">Accept the feeling of not feeling good. Acknowledge it then put it down. We go through all types of feelings in a day. Put down feeling of not good and that&#39;s something to be grateful for. Grateful that you acknowledge all the feelings.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Sana N.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">It&#39;s ok and Normal to feel like this , cuz I was like you nyear ago, what I did to make me out is creative , I made my self stories of worst thing that could happen by making my own stories I can make worst situation into good one , this how I started to feel complete even when was alone , I started to my thoughts in forms of poem which makes me feel proud of myself , go out alone with your deep thoughts and how tackle them  this is how you can make urself mentally strong , bad days , heartbreaks are normal you just need them to  be thrilling from power of your thoughts this is how you can tackle all bad things , believe in ur self , and thought to end ur life , cuz thats  how your story  is gonna unheard be a author of your life and  and it&#39;s ok to not feel ok every day. Always remember you  have people  somewhere in this world you like you the way you are and wants to hear your stories.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Paul P.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">I know exactly this situation I\u2019m just fixing it right now. First you have to find the thing that changed your \u201cold self\u201d. For me it was my family. I realized that they\u2019re not always right. And than you need to calm down take your time and think about one word that could describe your old self. When you have it try to achieve it step by step and don\u2019t be afraid if it is going to last a long time.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Bertram G.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">You don\u2019t have to Be depressed ,everything in this life have to do with time ,you may be sad today and be happy tomorrow .Kennyope11@gmail.com<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Karen I.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">It can be hard to see the good in life when anxiety and depression keep telling us the opposite. We feel as if we are stuck in a hole that we can\u2019t climb out of.<br \/>\nOne important thing that I try to do is to change my self talk. I try to catch myself when I am telling myself that I \u201cshould\u201d be better, or I \u201c should\u201d be more grateful. Whenever I catch myself saying that I \u201cshould\u201d be or do anything I try to think of a way to say the same thing without the word \u201cshould\u201d. \u201cShould\u201d is a word that implies that I am to blame or guilty for something. Instead of saying to myself that I \u201cshould be better\u201d I catch myself and rephrase that statement to \u201cI wish I was better\u201d. Instead of \u201cI should be grateful\u201d I can say that \u201cI\u2019m having a hard time feeling grateful.\u201d Talking to myself like this makes my anxiety and depression become something that I can work on or fix instead of something that is my fault and that I asked for. It turns the anxiety and depression into something I have and not something I am. The anxiety and depression become things I can treat with medication or self care, like a cold.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"single-answer\">\n<div class=\"who-answered\">Lauren N.<\/div>\n<div class=\"detailed-answer\">When learning to deal with anxiety or depression, know that it takes time. You will not all of a sudden be yourself again. In learning to accept anxiety and depression, you will be come a stronger version of yourself, not the same previous you. It\u2019s in acceptance that you can learn to grow. Some days are dark, but hold onto the good days because they are worth the dark.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Chris Z. Mm. Be grateful for the things *you have*: freedom, life, the ability to give love to any and all. Who you are is perfect, whole, and complete. I&#39;ve been there, keep going, it&#39;ll get better if you keep going. Life is a rollercoaster. You go up and down. Check out Daylio, I&#39;ve found it really helpful to look back over the past year&#8230; <\/p>\n<p class=\"more\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thefabulous.co\/qa\/i-have-severe-depression-and-anxiety-i-am-trying-to-work-through-it-but-im-disheartened-that-im-not-fixed-or-sorted-or-the-old-me-again-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-and-biggest-critic-ho\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[9976],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I have severe depression and anxiety. I am trying to work through it but I&#039;m disheartened that I&#039;m not &#039;fixed&#039; or &#039;sorted&#039; or &#039;the old me again&#039;. I am my own worst enemy and biggest critic. How can I feel fabulous when some days I&#039;m not sure I even want to live? How can I feel grateful when I feel so low? | Fabulous Community<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I have severe depression and anxiety. I am trying to work through it but I&#039;m disheartened that I&#039;m not &#039;fixed&#039; or &#039;sorted&#039; or &#039;the old me again&#039;. I am my own worst enemy and biggest critic. How can I feel fabulous when some days I&#039;m not sure I even want to live? How can I feel grateful when I feel so low? Discover the tips of the Fabulous members to set your perfect daily routine and get your habits to stick.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.thefabulous.co\/qa\/i-have-severe-depression-and-anxiety-i-am-trying-to-work-through-it-but-im-disheartened-that-im-not-fixed-or-sorted-or-the-old-me-again-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-and-biggest-critic-ho\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I have severe depression and anxiety. I am trying to work through it but I&#039;m disheartened that I&#039;m not &#039;fixed&#039; or &#039;sorted&#039; or &#039;the old me again&#039;. I am my own worst enemy and biggest critic. How can I feel fabulous when some days I&#039;m not sure I even want to live? 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Discover the tips of the Fabulous members to set your perfect daily routine and get your habits to stick.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.thefabulous.co\/qa\/i-have-severe-depression-and-anxiety-i-am-trying-to-work-through-it-but-im-disheartened-that-im-not-fixed-or-sorted-or-the-old-me-again-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-and-biggest-critic-ho\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Fabulous Community\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-03-11T10:06:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-12-19T16:14:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"amine\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"amine\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thefabulous.co\/qa\/i-have-severe-depression-and-anxiety-i-am-trying-to-work-through-it-but-im-disheartened-that-im-not-fixed-or-sorted-or-the-old-me-again-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-and-biggest-critic-ho\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thefabulous.co\/qa\/i-have-severe-depression-and-anxiety-i-am-trying-to-work-through-it-but-im-disheartened-that-im-not-fixed-or-sorted-or-the-old-me-again-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-and-biggest-critic-ho\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"amine\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.thefabulous.co\/qa\/#\/schema\/person\/d885ec79f0f361b2c8d1f55efc087194\"},\"headline\":\"I have severe depression and anxiety. 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